As Quickly as She Left

As quickly as she came, she left. Not to be seen around this place for a while. Not to be thought she had been seen. Her smile like no other. I didn’t ever doubt it was she. Sneak around, that was the excuse, cannot be done she said. Not to my knowledge could it have been this destructive. A God only knew what I was getting myself into. But I knew I wanted to be there. Another person, all hope on that not being a problem. Not that it has been before, you deceitful prick. ‘Lovely times’, once a vivid memory. All over. Cannot be done. Fuck everyone, nobody cares about us, they come first. I feel like I should do this alone- make myself happy. Remember how this ended? Not to care, always been greedy, think of others, after.

When nothing can be done but struggling and hurt, nothing seems doable, yet there is that one excuse that cancels the other million reasons out. Desire, a weird one really: Can take all empathy out of a person- See scenario A.

Still care? I think not. Twist words and ask questions, avoid answers, take note: not cool. What to do? You tell me, I will always be here, and you know that, the upper hand is yours. You know that also. Forget apparently, enter plea. Easier said than done for me, the downfall of a weak mind. Bring it on. Take it as it comes, this time hold onto it.

Outspoken? Not when it comes down to it, Fucking Coward. Her words, not mine. I couldn’t bring myself to realize. -Realization, what it takes for one to realize, sometimes too much. This time? Probably definitely. Actually, definitely. Volare

Having a sense, and wanting to be something, somebody, is different to becoming who you want to be. Take Control. The man, who knows that he knows nothing, is the man who actually knows the most. Respect this.

Have you come to watch the real beast perform? Many wish they would see it, yet it relies on terror to make an appearance. The game is yours- you deal the cards. Hopefully the lady shows again.  Praying for the lady, tearing love down whilst trying to achieve it. And its gone, out of sight and out of reach, back to the drawing board brother. Time to re-think this one. Not easy- Never easy. But Thank you nonetheless, you gave me what I wanted, muy apreciado. Friendly but distant. Not one for me- new found independence. Taken for granted.  C’est la vie.

                                                              For one can only desire:

How your wonderful ways arose

For the joy you were to bring

As I can only wish

That our time is yet to spring

Your nature by far a delight

As rays of sunshine do

For one can only desire

That the bud shall blossom blue