The Washed Up Fool

I’ve never tasted anything so good before. Man, turn out the light, too early for such ventures. ‘Things are looking up’ my acquaintance expelled. Let’s go, no time like the present.

You don’t know your in the good ol’ days until you they’re over.  That’s a big issue. Living for tomorrow. This pause has become alien, time to forget, this isn’t the time to return. Why the hurry? On further thought, why return at all. After longing to be heard, you have listened. The truth hurts sometimes. Don’t go back! That’s the unconscious trail anyway. Not many times has it been catalyzed to its potential. Here goes specimen i. From a secluded sun-spelled beach to a dark dreary quicksand, engulfing you slower and more frustrating than you think possible. The sort of beast who captures you from within, its in your head.  That’s you I’m afraid, struggle to your demise or apprehend it’s over and look forward to what is next. It’s an odd feeling, to be aware of something for a long time but for emotion or disavowal to take over and make you partially conscious to what is actually happening. A feeling of repentance for past actions is never going to leave the soul. Stuck with him now, like a scar worn brashly on his forehead. Unconditionally a difficulty, it was for him. An idea that meant too much to oversee- quickly became a personal obsession. If not a goal. To accomplish some sort of peculiar achievement, in which he sets out to prove to himself, that he is no such washed up fool.

He nearly saw me. Then I would have been in trouble, Lucifer that lies beneath would have greeted him with no gesture, none. Blank, ready for confrontation, all hell would have broke loose then son. Nobody wants that! Definitely not going to happen, eventually dead or imprisoned if your not careful chief. I think I will stay here; I have everything I need to succeed. A little motivation wouldn’t cost much surely. Hopefully not. Without a care for me. Not one gram of doubt. A gram of anything else though, if it were going, would come in handy. Only if it’s going.

Curious to see. I just cant leave it I'm afraid. Although I'm beginning to doubt myself. Names are made. I don’t have it in me. As much as I would like to. You are not being as fair as I would like you to be. Not as fair as you can see. You have done this before and you know you are doing it again. Good morning sunshine.